Quotes from White Collar Episode "Where There's a Will"

Season 3, Episode 2 Air Date: June 14, 2011

Burke: Are you thinking about how you'd steal it?
Caffrey: It weighs two tons and is worth maybe a couple grand. Pass.
Burke: But you were thinking about it.
Caffrey: It's an involuntary reflex.

Savannah: Who's he?
Burke: His name is Neal. He knows a lot of stuff.
Savannah: What's that thing on his leg?
Burke: That's a tracking anklet.
Savannah: I have an anklet. Want to see?
Burke: Yeah. Oh, cute. Where'd you get it?
Savannah: My grandpa. Where'd he get his?
Burke: It's part of a federal work-release program where...Uh... I gave it to him. It's so I don't lose him.
Savannah: Oh, are you his grandpa?
Burke: Weren't you supposed to go to your room?

Elizabeth: Honey.
Burke: What?
Elizabeth: Do you want to grab some mirrors and go play with Neal?
Burke: Yes!

Burke: What's the first time?
Mozzie: 4:30. In the spring. Yeah, but not the government-forced daylight savings 4:30. The real 4:30.
Burke: Hon, if you would stand right about here is good. And, Mr. Conspiracy, if you could stand right about here. And not move. Good.

Burke: Mozzie, two steps to your left. Hold your arms up as high as you can.
Mozzie: Is that a short joke?
Burke: It is now.

Mozzie: Three-letter acronyms are your specialty, suit.

Felix: Tycho Brahe's original notes on "De nova stella." The letter he wrote to his brother is on page 273.
Burke: Would you mind turning to that page?
Felix: Well, that would be impossible. Mr. Roland left the book with very specific instruction.
Burke: Of course he did. The mechanical arm turns one page every hour until it reaches the end. Then the process reverses.
Felix: This is half-inch glass. Pressure, temperature, and humidity are controlled to preserve the paper. It cannot be tampered with in any way.
Burke: Listen to me, Felix. This book may have implications in a kidnapping.
Felix: Oh. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, but you don't understand. I wish I could help you, but my hands are tied. You could come back in a few days.

Caffrey: Are you saying you trust me enough to continue without you?
Burke: Neal, we got to get Savannah back. With that, I trust you completely.

Elizabeth: Satchmo, don't worry. I've got the door. You just stay right there. Mozzie. Neal. What are you guys doing here?
Caffrey: Is Satchmo free this afternoon?

Mozzie: (Posing as a blind man) I like the idea of stars.

Mozzie: You missed it. We need page 273.
Caffrey: Yeah. I know. It's the first time it skipped.
Mozzie: Can you make it reverse?
Caffrey: Hold on.
Mozzie: (After the page turner skips again) Okay, seriously?
Caffrey: What, you want to come down and give it a go, Bob Vila? Bring it.

Mozzie: If this doesn't work, we blame the dog.
(Neal crack opens the case and the book turns to dust.)
Mozzie: Bad dog!

Burke: Neal, somehow you managed to make my dog an accomplice to robbery.
Caffrey: Elizabeth said I'd bear the brunt of this.
Burke: You know, I give you an inch, and—
Caffrey: Now it's light reading.
Burke: Too soon. The planetarium intends to prosecute.
Caffrey: This book is a forgery. Brahe lived on an island. He ran his own paper mill, primarily from tulip-tree stock, which has a very low acetic content. Look, the real manuscript could be left in a Turkish bathhouse without risk of harm. The one from the planetarium turned into a Shrinky Dink the second it hit the air.

Caffrey: Is it too soon to say "I told you so"?
Burke: Yes.
Caffrey: All right.

Brett Gelles: Damn it. I said no cops.
Caffrey: I am the farthest thing from a cop that you can imagine.

Burke: Okay. Now you can say you told me so.
Caffrey: Ah, it's okay. You know, I'll save it for another time.

Burke: Does this look like a compass rose?
Caffrey: I think it looks like real-estate fraud.
Burke: I think so, too.

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