Quotes from White Collar Episode "What Happens in Burma"

Season 2, Episode 12 Air Date: February 1, 2011

Burke: Coming here always reminds me I should travel.
Caffrey: I tried to get you to go to France.
Burke: No, you fled to France.
Caffrey: Nitpicking.
Burke: You had quite a run there for a while... The Riviera, Copenhagen.
Caffrey: I should've sent postcards.
Burke: I had Interpol warrants...Just as good. "Neal's robbing a palace. Wish you were here." Good times.
Caffrey: Where would you go...
Burke: Anywhere in the world? Sweden. I like vikings...A sword in my hand, a good ship under my feet.
Caffrey: Pillage and plunder. I knew that under that lawman exterior beats the heart of a thief.
Burke: Well, maybe I just like hats with horns.

Burke: In the last year, it was held in a secured vault at a state mining facility, under army guard, in the middle of a jungle.
Caffrey: Not exactly a prime location for a college kid to just walk in and grab it.
Burke: No. The mine is in the Mogok Valley.
Caffrey: You can get there by a helicopter or a seven-hour jeep ride over some nasty terrain.
Jones: You just know these things?
Caffrey: Yeah, that's why they keep me around.
Burke: Mm.
Caffrey: You'd need some muscle, a cargo plane, and a few grand in bribe money just to get started.
Burke: You would?
Caffrey: And who knows what else? Because I've never considered stealing gems in Burma. Wow.

Caffrey: What kind of father is that? His job puts Chris at further risk, so he came to us sub-rosa instead to protect him.
Burke: Tough love? It's what my father would have done.
Caffrey: Your dad was a bricklayer, not a diplomat.
Burke: Okay, so he would've tried to break through the mortar walls of the prison first instead, but he would've done the same thing. What about yours?
Caffrey: My dad?
Burke: Yeah. I don't know much about him.
Caffrey: Oh. I thought you knew everything about me.
Burke: Well, there's a big, gaping hole before your 18th birthday.
Caffrey: Enjoy the mystery.
Burke: Oh, come on. You don't want to talk about him?
Caffrey: What do you want me to say?
Burke: I don't know. Start small. What did he do for a living?
Caffrey: My dad was a cop.
Burke: A cop?!
Caffrey: You said start small. Have a nice day.
Burke: You c...
Caffrey: Nope.
Burke: Come on, a cop?
Caffrey: No.

Caffrey: And you asked to keep your distance from the FBI. I was doing you a favor.
Mozzie: Oh, by conversing with my archrival?
Caffrey: Everyone's your archrival, Moz.
Mozzie: But I would like the chance at first veto on helping.
Caffrey: I will come to you first next time. Hey, Moz.
Mozzie: Yeah?
Caffrey: Are you ever curious about your birth parents?
Mozzie: No, thanks. I don't need to look into the crystal ball of my future. Are you heading down that road again?
Caffrey: No, I was talking with Peter today, and my father came up.
Mozzie: You want to lie down on the couch? I'll get my notepad.
Caffrey: No, thanks, Dr. Freud.
Mozzie: I just find it fascinating, considering your patriarchal relationship with the suit and your penchant for breaking the law. Does Peter know?
Caffrey: I said he was a cop.
Mozzie: Ah. You gonna tell him? You know, he could be useful.
Caffrey: Moz.

Caffrey: Peter, you just burned a perfectly good alias.
Burke: And you named me after my dog.
Caffrey: Touché.

Burke: I was hoping I'd never have to share this with you.
Caffrey: The FBI has a gem vault, and you didn't tell me?
Burke: Why give an alcoholic a drink? They're waiting for us in the conference room.
Caffrey: How many jewels do I get to take?
Burke: Take?
Caffrey: Use. For this particular mission.
Burke: Plenty. When the Bureau comes across black-market gems, we confiscate them.


Mozzie: I haven't had this much fun since I tripped Noam Chomsky.
Caffrey: You need to get out more, Flashdance.
Mozzie: Hey, you want to make a star ruby? We can put masonic etchings in the silk veins.
Caffrey: We're not rewriting history. Let's keep it simple.
Mozzie: Note my immediate boredom.
Burke: Help me explain why an oxyhydrogen blowtorch is gonna show up on my expense report.
Caffrey: It's my own improvement of Auguste Verneuil's flame fusion apparatus.
Burke: You're making that up.
Mozzie: We're making synthetic rubies, "plebe-ian."
Burke: It's plebeian.

Randy: Have you ever considered a career in modeling?
Diana: I prefer being an FBI agent. It means I carry a gun.
Randy: I know.
Burke: You're barking up the wrong tree in so many ways.
Randy: Hey, it's a party.

Burke: Uh-oh.
Caffrey: He's got his crossword.
Burke: Helps me think.
Caffrey: Your infamous multitasking?
Burke: I'm surprised you can't do it.
Caffrey: I like to hone in, focus.
Burke: Oh. Where do you think that trait comes from?
Caffrey: Nice try. I don't want to talk about my dad.
Burke: Fine.
Caffrey: Do your crossword.
Burke: Okay. Six-letter word for embarrassing genetic overseer.
Caffrey: Parent.
Burke: Mm.
Caffrey: Let me see that.
Burke: No.
Caffrey: You made that up.
Burke: So sue me. For four years, I studied your every move, and not one word about your father. Then all of a sudden, you drop a bomb on me that he's a cop?
Caffrey: Fine. I'll tell you everything my mom told me.
Burke: Good.
Caffrey: I didn't know him. He died when I was two.
Burke: Ah, Neal, I'm sorry.
Caffrey: Please. Mom said he went out in a hail of gunfire, taking down a whole gang of bad guys. He was a hero. I grew up wanting to be just like him. Other kids played Cowboys and Indians. I pretended I was my dad. Got really good with guns. So, now you know.

Burke: Neal. Mozzie. What you doing?
Mozzie: Discussing Hegel and his rational realism. You?
Burke: Casual stroll. You're smoking.
Mozzie: It's a smoking jacket.
Burke: Give us a moment?
Mozzie: I will. Because the fresh air sounds exhilarating.

Burke: Neal?
Caffrey: Peter. Look, I know I...
Burke: I know. What do you need me for?
Caffrey: You're not here to stop me?
Burke: Savor this moment.
Caffrey: Already savoring. Look, I'll spare you the details, but basically, the smoking jacket's not smoking. We need to stall.

Caffrey: You asked me about my dad. I think my mom told me what any kid would want to hear.
Burke: That he was a hero?
Caffrey: He wasn't. He was a dirty cop.
Burke: You're not him.
Caffrey: If I'm not my father's son... Who am I?
Burke: Certain things are...
Caffrey: In my blood.
Burke: I don't believe it. You did that. Christopher is free because of you. Tell me about your mother.
Caffrey: Not a chance.
Burke: Come on.
Caffrey: Nope.
Burke: Did she wear hats?

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