Quotes from White Collar Episode "Vital Signs"

Season 1, Episode 10 Air Date: February 2, 2010

Caffrey: Scenery, fresh air, just about everything I couldn't get at my last address.
June: Byron liked the park too....for very much the same reasons.
Caffrey: You do like bad boys.

Elizabeth: Good Morning, Neal.
Caffrey: I let myself in. I hope you don't mind.
Burke: I mind.
Caffrey: You guys having breakfast?
Burke: Yeah. We're having breakfast. Yeah. It's a crazy ritual, I’m sorta fond of. You wanna know why?
Caffrey: Cause you like the free toys?
Burke: Cause breakfast doesn't involve you. See every morning I sit at my dining table, with my lovely wife and my delicious cereal and no thoughts of Neal Caffrey.
Caffrey: (Referring to the box of cereal) It says it has a free sheriff’s badge. Did you get it already?
Burke: El, do something!
Elizabeth: You want a bowl with that cereal?
Caffrey: Thank you. Manners.

Burke: Look at you bringing me a case.
Neal slips the fake sheriff's badge on his lapel.
Caffrey: Well, It's what us lawmen do.

Caffrey: So I can run with it?
Burke: Run with it? No, Barney Fife, no, you can walk, very slowly. As long as you don't interrupt my breakfast again.
Caffrey: Gotcha. Enjoy your meal.
Burke: Ah, Neal. Remember, (gestures toward the toy sheriff badge) that's not real.

Mozzie: (about Peter) Those were his words? "Run with it"?
Caffrey: More or less.
Mozzie: I'm assuming less.

Caffrey: The charity is called Hearts Wide Open.
Mozzie: That is truly menacing. If I made a horror movie, I would definitely call it Hearts Wide Open.

Mozzie: Already I don't trust this woman.
Caffrey: Because she drove here?
Mozzie: A New Yorker who does not take the subway is not a New Yorker you can trust.
Caffrey: I don't take the subway.
Mozzie: Precisely.

Mozzie: Wait, you haven't given me the chance to ask you to dinner.
Melissa: You're crazy.
Mozzie: Crazy for you.

Mozzie: You told me to do what you do, so I asked her for dinner.
Caffrey: What happened?
Mozzie: She left. Running.

Burke: Let me tell you a story.
Caffrey: That's really not necessary.
Burke: I had a CI once. Local kid named Jimmy Burger. Raised some money and opened a restaurant on Fifth.
Caffrey: Let me guess, he named it Jimmy's Burgers.
Burke: No.
Caffrey: Burger Joint?
Burke: You done?
Caffrey: Yeah.

Jones: Hey Neal! Here's the info on those names you asked me to check out.
Burke: Unbelievable! Like talking to a wall.
Caffrey: I hadn't heard your story yet.
Burke: Let me see.

Melissa: What is your area of expertise, Doctor?
Burke: Chiropractics.
Melissa: You're a chiropractor. And you work with D.G.I.?
Caffrey: Poor posture doesn't discriminate.

Burke: That was your plan? You didn't forge an invitation?
Caffrey: I was allowed to?
Burke: No.

Melissa: We may have a few slots available. You boys willing to get your hands dirty?

Caffrey: You do realize you have to flirt with her for the rest of the afternoon now, right? Should be a fun story to tell Elizabeth over breakfast.

Burke: You know, any schlub can pick up a girl at a bar. You want a challenge? Try keeping a beautiful woman happy for ten years running.
Caffrey: How long has it been?
Burke: Summer of '98.
Caffrey: Whoa. You haven't flirted in the 21st century?

Burke: Hey there. You look thirsty.
Melissa: I would love a drink.

Caffrey: Hey, Dr. Tannenbaum. Elizabeth was just wondering, does FBI stand for Female Body Inspector?
Burke: Sit down and shut up.

Elizabeth: Honey?
Burke: Yeah?
Elizabeth: What is this?
Burke: I was going to talk to you about that... That is part of an undercover job I was working. And part of the cover was that I had to talk to another woman.
Elizabeth: Must have been quite the conversationalist.
Burke: I had to flirt with her so Neal could get closer to the target.
Elizabeth: Isn't it usually the other way around?
Burke: She chose me.
Elizabeth: You had to seduce another woman?
Burke: No! No! I just had drinks with her. Nothing happened El, I swear! Are you laughing? You're laughing.
Elizabeth: You had to flirt? You hate flirting!
Burke: I know and now I remember why.
Elizabeth: What did you say to her?
Burke: I said that she looked thirsty. It worked!
Elizabeth: Oh, please tell me there's surveillance video of this!

Caffrey: You can stop shaking, Moz.
Mozzie: I'm not acting. I hate hospitals.
Someone sneezes.
Mozzie: Now I have what he has.

Caffrey: What? Never met a lock I couldn't pick. Except my anklet.
Burke: All right. Come on.
Caffrey: I don't know what ... Whoa, hey. You're strong.

Burke:Why would you do something like this?
Caffrey: Peter I've done so many worse things that you don't know about.
Burke: Okay, just shut up. … Like what things?
Caffrey: You remember the Antioch manuscripts?
Burke:You took those? How?
Caffrey: Carrier pigeons. Think about it.

Referring to the surveillance tape of Neal sneaking into a building.
Caffrey: You stole that for me?
Burke: Yeah. It's a regular Kodak moment.

Caffrey: Hey, before I go back you should know this. Out of all the people in my life, Mozzie even Kate. You know you're the only one.
Burke: The only one what?
Caffrey: The only person in my life that I trust.

Elizabeth: There are some dishes to be washed, Mr. Magic Hands.

Caffrey: You've got an itching spray?
Burke: We've got a lot of things you don't know about.
Caffrey: Wow...
Burke: What?
Caffrey: You're really enjoying this.
Burke: No. Maybe just a little.

Burke: Hi there. I noticed you're sitting alone.
Elizabeth: Well, my husband's at work. It happens a lot.
Burke: He must be good at his job.
Elizabeth: Well, actually, his partner does a lot of the heavy lifting.
Burke: Oh really? If that's the case I bet it's because your husband is distracted by thoughts of you.
Elizabeth: Interesting theory.
Burke: I bet his favorite part of the day is coming home to that smile. Wherever he is, he's a lucky man.
Elizabeth: I keep telling him that.
Burke: You look thirsty.
Elizabeth: So that line does work.
Burke: Every time. By the way, I'm Dr. Tannenbaum. Chiropractor. I'm told I have magic hands.
Elizabeth: Ok, Now you're dead.

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