"Upper West Side Story" Episode Guide

White Collar Upper West Side Story
Season 3, Episode 12 Air Date:January 24, 2011

For more information, check out Quotes from "Upper West Side Story" or "Upper West Side Story" Nitpicks.

“This could be an opportunity. A chance to start over, maybe live the life you really want. I got that chance, and it's the best thing that ever happened to me.” – Neal Caffrey


The Con

Neal poses as a Mr. Cooper, a substitute teacher for Mr. Brooks' English class

Peter poses as Peter Stone, a wealthy Hong Kong banker relocating to New York looking for a school for his son, Peter Jr. Peter likes catamarans and cognac. Diana poses as his girlfriend, Danielle. Danielle lives in New York. Peter and Danielle once had a meal together in Aspen.

Interesting Facts

Unlike other cheeses, soft runny cheeses like Brie and Camembert are low in lactose. This makes lactose-intolerant people (like Mozzie) able to eat them.

Terrific Tweets

Character Information

The Bad Guy

Andy Woods is an American financier suspected of managing money for the Juarez Cartel. The D.E.A. believes he launders the cash through investment portfolios. He has a 17 year old daughter, Chloe.

Graham Slater is the headmaster at Manhattan Prep. He was complicit to Woods actions.

Nazi Nonsense



Harry Potter

"Did Hogwarts book a field trip?" "Ten points for Gryffindor."

Two refrences to the Harry Potter movies. The first is noting Evan's uniform. The second is how students in the book are awarded for good behavior.

"Took the road less recommended."

A refernce to Robert Frost's poem "The Road Not Taken." The poem ends with the lines, "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I– / I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference.

"It's like you're an alias savant."

A savant is a person of learning; especially one with detailed knowledge in some specialized field.

"Don't get ahead of yourself there, Hemingway."

Ernest Miller Hemingway (1899 – 1961) was an American author who wrote such classics like The Sun Also Rises, A Farewell to Arms, For Whom the Bell Tolls and The Old Man and the Sea.

"'I end not far from my going forth by picking the faded blue' Frost."

Robert Frost is of the most popular and critically respected American poets of his generation, receiving four Pulitzer Prizes for Poetry. The line Neal quotes is from the poem "A Late Walk." This is the second reference to Frost in this episode.

"If I had a song for every substitute I had to track down in these halls, I'd be Aretha Franklin."

Aretha Franklin is an American singer, songwriter, and pianist. She is often referred to as the Queen of Soul. Franklin released 34 albums during her career.

Bobby Fisher

"Prescott's shaping up to be the next Fischer."

Bobby Fisher was an American chess Grandmaster and the 11th World Chess Champion. He is widely considered one of the greatest chess players of all time.

"Well, you know what they say, 'play the man, not the board.'"

This quote is said by Vinnie, Laurence Fishbourne's character, in the movie Searching for Bobby Fisher.

"Hi. I'm Mr. Cooper."

Hangin' with Mr. Cooper is an American television sitcom that originally aired on ABC from 1992 to 1997. Mr. Cooper was an NBA player-turned-substitute teacher/gym coach.

"Scansion's like math. Marking the lines, it kills the romance."

Scansion is the act of determining and (usually) graphically representing the metrical character of a line of verse.

"She walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies and all that's best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes, thus mellowed to that tender light which heaven to gaudy day denies, one shade the more, one ray the less, had half impaired the nameless grace that waves in every raven tress or softly lightens o'er her face."

These lines are from the poem by Lord Byron.

"The Magic Hand of Chance —Keats."

This is a line from the poem "When I Have Fears" by John Keats. Keats was an English Romantic poet.

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet."

This is an often quoted line from Romeo and Juliet written by William Shakespeare, also known as "The Bard." The play takes place in Verona, Italy, although it is based on fictional characters.

"Lord Byron was described as mad, bad, and dangerous to know."

Lady Caroline Lamb used this phrase to describe Byron after first meeting him. That didn't stop her from having a passionate affair with the man, who was two years her junior.

Dead Poet's Society

"I said "Sit on a bench", not re-enact Dead Poets Society."

Dead Poets Society was a 1989 movie in which Robin Williams stars as inspiring, yet unconventional English professor John Keating.

"Tomorrow, we start on Dickens." "Someone has great expectations."

Charles Dickens was an English writer and social critic who is generally regarded as the greatest novelist of the Victorian period. One of his famous works is Great Expectations.

"A battle won cancels every other bad action?"

This is a famous aphorism from Niccolò Machiavelli's Art of War. The original says "A battle that you win cancels any other bad action of yours. In the same way, by losing one, all the good things worked by you before become vain."

"I take it you'll be playing the part of the helpful friar who brings the star-crossed lovers together?" "Sans vial of poison."

Neal and Mozzie are referring to Romeo and Juliet. In the play, the friar helps unite the title characters. After marrying the couple turns out badly (Romeo is vanquished from the city for killing Juliet's cousin) the friar gives Juliet a vial of sleeping potion to fake her death (thus getting her out of the city where he had planned to have Romeo meet up with her).


"I walk in the classroom, and the girls were all glassy-eyed, like they saw that kid from those vampire movies."

Although this could be referring to several vampires, it is most likely referring to Edward, from The Twilight Series.

Papa Smurf

"Ooh, careful, Papa Smurf."

Papa Smurf is the patriarch figure of The Smurfs, a Belgian comic and television franchise centered on a group of small blue fictional creatures called Smurfs, created and first introduced as a series of comic strips by the Belgian cartoonist Peyo. It was later made into an American cartoon and movie.

"We're about to start A Tale of Two Cities, and I would love it if—"

A Tale of Two Cities is a novel written by Charles Dickens.

"Mr. Magwitch."

Abel Magwitch is a fictional character from Charles Dickens’ 1861 novel Great Expectations.

"I'm a Machiavellian puppetmaster."

Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli was an Italian historian, philosopher, humanist and writer based in Florence during the Renaissance. A Machiavellian puppetmaster, also known as a Machiavellian villian, is someone who manipulates others to do his (or her) dirty work.

"And, for Holden Caulfield's sake, will you unbutton the shirt?"

Holden Caulfield is the 17-year-old protagonist of J. D. Salinger's novel The Catcher in the Rye. He is universally recognized for his resistance to growing older and desire to protect childhood innocence.

"Carpe diem, Evan."

Carpe diem is Latin for "Seize the day." It is a common theme in English literature as well as the movie Dead Poets Society.

"After hearing about it, I thought it might be an original Hogenberg. Well, 16th century, bird's-eye perspective, and there's the Bastille."

Well, 16th century, bird's-eye perspective, and there's the Bastille.

"There's a half a bottle of wine on the table and a whiff of camembert in the air."

Camembert is a soft, creamy, surface-ripened cow's milk cheese.

"I'm keeping a safe distance from the bureau's favorite Brooks Brother."

Brooks Brothers is the oldest men's clothier chain in the United States. They are know for classically modern dress shirts, ties, pants, and sweaters.

Say Anything

"I just did the equivalent of the hoisting of the boom box."

This is a reference to a scene in the 1989 movie Say Anything.... In the movie, John Cusack's character serenades his love by standing outside of her house with a boombox playing Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes."

"Potassium carbonate, sucrose, and just a hint of nitrogen."

Potassium nitrate and sucrose are used as ingredients in some smoke bombs.

Reviews & Links


Writers:Alexandra McNally & Jim Campolongo Director:Russell Lee Fine
Regulars Guest Stars
Neal Caffrey
Peter Burke
Elizabeth Burke
Clinton Jones
Diana Barrigan
Sara Ellis
Matt Bomer
Tim DeKay
Tiffani Thiessen
Willie Garrison
Sharif Atkins
Marsha Thomason
Hilarie Burton
Evan Leary

Andy Woods
FBI Agent
Mr. Cooper
Graham Slater
Elizabeth Gillies
Graham Phillips
Rosalyn Coleman
Dylan Baker
Drew Beasley
Sheena Colette
Matthew J. McCarthy
John Rothman

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