Quotes from White Collar Episode "Under the Radar"

Season 2, Episode 16 Air Date: March 8, 2011

Caffrey: Isn't there a probie who would've benefited more from lugging evidence around?
Burke: Hmm, carrying evidence isn't considered valuable field experience.
Caffrey: For anyone.
Burke: I'm sure you never complained when you were hauling around plasma cutters and borescopes.
Caffrey: When I'm cracking safes, I have a sense of purpose... Had. Had a sense of purpose.
Burke: Now you have a new purpose... Lugging these Rolex knock-offs to evidence.

Sara: All right, look, before everybody else gets here, I just want to say that if we're gonna continue working together, then we really should not ignore the other night.
Caffrey: Look, it was ...
Sara: Hot.
Caffrey: Hot?
Sara: I mean, I thought so, but ...
Caffrey: No, I know. The stacks with no A.C. ... It was like being back in college.
Sara: Neal, you didn't go to college.
Caffrey: Well, I wasn't enrolled, but I did spend a lot of time...researching.

Sara: So...Alex?
Caffrey: Okay, calling her an "acquaintance" may have been an understatement.
Sara: Neal, you don't owe me anything. I've lived a life, too. But if there is anything between us, then don't lie to me.
Caffrey: I would never.
Sara: Yes, you would. So Alex?
Caffrey: Over. A long time ago.
Sara: Was that so hard?
Caffrey: No.

Mozzie: A sunken U-boat. What could be better than this?
Peter: What do you think is in it?
Mozzie: Ah, that is the question, isn't it? Plutonium would be an educated guess. You know they had the bomb years before we did.
Peter: Guess I missed that chapter in world history.
Mozzie: Yeah, of course you did. It could also contain Hitler clones.
Peter: (to Neal) Is he serious?
Caffrey: Unfortunately, yes. Mozzie, the antenna.
Mozzie: Hold on. It's got to warm up. Another possibility...
Peter: Let it be a surprise.

Peter: The Chrysler Building. That's new.
Caffrey: Almost finished.
Peter: Painting it for your girlfriend?
Caffrey: Are you 9?

Mozzie: Look, I'm holding five fake Rolexes. If I get shaken down, I've got a government-stamped barcode on the back of my neck.

Caffrey: Usually I'd bring this business to Alex, but I can't find her.
Teddy Eames: Well, I would check the Interpol website. Apparently, she's all over it.

Peter: Watches?
Mozzie: Oh.
Peter: Money?
Mozzie: What money?
Peter: The $300 Eames gave you.
Mozzie: What $300 Eames gave me?
(Peter looks at Neal who shrugs)
Peter: Thanks for the help.
Mozzie: Anytime, Serpico.
Peter: Buy Jones lunch.
Mozzie: We'll see.

Alex: This is part of a plan, right? You let yourselves get caught then the FBI rides to the rescue.
Peter: You got the first part right.

Sara: Neal? (Mozzie opens the door) Not Neal.
Mozzie: And you're not a strawberry blonde with a penchant for Voltaire. I guess we're both disappointed.

Mozzie: I get it. We're fascinating creatures. We live a life of danger. It's exciting, slightly erotic. But with guys like us, you find yourself always trying to stay a step ahead. You relax once, let down your guard, and it all goes away.
Sara: You paint a very tragic picture.
Mozzie: Ah. One person's tragedy is another person's excitement.

Peter: This really a two-man job?
Caffrey: I figured I'd save you from a bullet.
Peter: By putting me in front of a bomb?
Adler: Stop talking.
Caffrey: If you don't like it, come do it yourself. That shut him up.

Diana: Good thing is your boyfriend is wearing a tracking anklet.
Sara: Will you let it go? He's not my boyfriend.

Caffrey: You have a favorite color?
Peter: Oh, funny. This is your skill set, not mine.
Caffrey: All right, beige is usually neutral or bluff wire.
Peter: Usually?
Caffrey: I don't know if they bluffed with wire 60 years ago. The live ones should be the silver or the black.
Peter: El's favorite color is purple.
Caffrey: That doesn't help.

Peter: If I see jars of fetuses with little black mustaches, I'm turning around.
Caffrey: I don't think this is the one carrying Hitler clones.

Adler: You three are going for a ride.
Alex: No. I'm not going back in that limo.
Caffrey: Alex!
Alex: Go ahead, Vincent. Shoot us.
Adler: Okay. Shoot them. Then get a mop or something.

Diana: We're not abducting you.
Mozzie: Can I get out?
Jones: No.
Mozzie: Well, then it feels like an abduction. Does anyone have anything for motion sickness?
Sara: Hey, hey, hey. I don't know why, but I do like you. And I don't want them to hurt you, so just do yourself a favor and shut up.
Mozzie: Oh, guys!
Diana: She's right. I will hurt you.
Mozzie: All due respect, I think you should listen to me right now.
Jones: Really? Why is that?
Mozzie: I'm getting a signal.

Jones: Psst, psst! Across the room. Danger. So which one you going for? I mean, I'll be your wing man.
Caffrey: No, I'm good, Jones.
Jones: You sure?
Caffrey: If I'm not out in 10 minutes, send backup.

Peter: Hell of a day.
Caffrey: Another day, another Nazi sub.

Peter: Hey, there. It's your lucky night. Elizabeth's making those little chickens you like.
Caffrey: Cornish hens.
Peter: I know what they're called. You're invited. That means you're coming. Both of you.
Caffrey: Is that an order?
Peter: Yeah.

Peter: Weather stripping. It's the latest controversy rocking the Burke household.

Sara: Wife of an FBI agent. That's not easy, is it?
Elizabeth: Yeah, I would be lying if I said I didn't worry about him. But I knew who he was when I fell in love with him.
Sara: You never tried to change that?
Elizabeth: No. Why would I? I mean, we're married. For better or for worse.
Sara: And now he's got Neal. For better or for worse.
Elizabeth: Yeah. But for the record, it's... It's actually better.
Sara: You trust Neal?
Elizabeth: Wow. That's a loaded question. I'm guessing you don't?
Sara: Well, you said it yourself. I know who he is.
Elizabeth: Neal is a lot of things, but...when it counts, you can trust him.

Caffrey: Think I'm in trouble?
Peter: No, I'm sure they're discussing shoes.
Caffrey: Shoes?
Peter: What do you think they're talking about?
Caffrey: Us.
Peter: Yeah. Well, you, you've got a lot to learn about women.
Caffrey: Oh, I've got a lot to learn?

Elizabeth: Hey, nice ass.

Caffrey: Look, I know things are complicated.
Sara: Well, that's kind of your specialty, Neal.
Caffrey: I could teach a master class. Yeah. I want you to know I wasn't lying when I said things were over between me and Alex. I meant it.
Sara: At the time.
Caffrey: At the time. Yeah.
Sara: You owe me a lunch.

Adler: There's nothing sadder than a con man conning himself.

Peter: That long con on Adler, it finally paid off, didn't it? You saw your chance, and then you took it. I don't know how. I don't know what game you are playing.
Caffrey: I have no idea, Peter. I'm not lying to you now. I didn't steal the art.
Peter: I think you did.
Caffrey: Then prove it. Prove it.

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