Quotes from White Collar Episode "Need to Know"

Season 2, Episode 2 Air Date: July 20, 2010

Burke: Our new case: a potentially-corrupt politician. Need a moment to recover?
Caffrey: I might, actually.

Caffrey: Gary Jennings, state senator.
Burke: You've heard of him?
Caffrey: I am politically aware. He's popular. Even Mozzie voted for him.
Burke: Mozzie votes?
Caffrey: More often than you'd think... or would approve of.

Caffrey: Politicians were the original con men.

Caffrey: I've got it: Bad cop–good criminal.
Burke: No such thing.

Burke: This could work.
Caffrey: All we need's a bad cop.
Burke: I can do bad cop.
Caffrey: I've seen you do mildly irritated cop.
(Peter glares at Neal)
Caffrey: Wow.

Burke: I'm the bad cop. Now it's your turn.

Burke: Caffrey, that's my newspaper.
Caffrey: Relax, I'll give it back.
Burke: Touch my crossword and I will put you back behind bars.
Caffrey: Oh, you do it in pen. I'm impressed.

Burke: You don't get to shush me.

Caffrey: Like I said, bad cop–good cop.
Burke: Good criminal.
Caffrey: Consultant.

Caffrey: In today's world, rumor is truth.

Burke: If we're looking for him, there's a fair chance they're looking for us.

Dylan: I'm a terrible liar.
Caffrey: Good. We need more terrible liars in politics.

Jennings: Smoking makes you look weak.
Caffrey: I'll have to remember that.

Burke: How's your first day at work?
Caffrey: I've taken up smoking.
Burke: Politics is already corrupting you.

Elizabeth calls while Peter's logging into the escort service Website
Elizabeth: You got any big plans for tonight?
Burke: Nope. Just catching up on some work.
Website: Are you looking for high-class female companionship?
Elizabeth: Uh, what kind of work is that?
Burke: Oh, it's not what it sounds like.
Website: Our discreet service gives you a chance to spend the day with the girl of your dreams.
Burke: Or that.
Website: We will introduce you to fashion models, pageant winners, beau—
(Peter closes laptop to stop the audio)
Elizabeth: Oh, I can't wait to hear this explanation.
Burke: Research, I swear.

Caffrey: Captain Shaddock cleans up nice.
Burke: The stakeout was canceled. Diana came over to work. Why am I explaining myself to you? Not everything's a conspiracy, Neal.
Caffrey: I hope that's true. I've never lied to you.
Burke: Oh, come on, Neal. You lie for a living.
Caffrey: Not to you. I may have let you draw certain conclusions that weren't correct, but never an actual lie.

Burke: You gonna tell her?
Caffrey: I'm not telling her.
Burke: You're the one who made her a hooker.
Caffrey: You're the one who's sleeping with her.
Burke: You got a point.
Diana: Yeah?
Burke: Neal told Jennings you're a hooker. You and I are having an affair. You're gonna go meet with an escort service.
Diana: Okay. Anything else?
Burke: No.
Caffrey: It's good to have her back.

Mozzie: Did you confront the suit about the pictures?
Caffrey: Yeah, I did. He said it was a misunderstanding.
Mozzie: Oh, right. So was the Bay of Pigs.

Mozzie: It's only fair. We keep secrets from the suits all the time. Now they have their own. There's a certain universal synchronicity to it all.
Caffrey: Spare me your "circle of life" crap.

Caffrey: It is really exciting in the van. Can I just go in there and—
Burke: You'll sit there, and you'll like it.

Mozzie: You've come to the right place.
Burke: Cut the crap, Mozzie. Can you get us the ten grand or not?
Mozzie: Yes. But first some ground rules. I want full immunity about anything you may see or hear tonight.
Burke: Let's just say I'll owe you one.
Mozzie: I accept your counteroffer.

Mozzie: That'll do, pig. That'll do.

Caffrey: Is this doing anything for you?
Diana: Not a damn thing.

Caffrey: So that's a no to the champagne bath?

Burke: All of your quotes are getting on my nerves. Peter Burke.

Caffrey: You're lying to me.
Diana: I'm not. I swear I'm not.
Caffrey: There is no way Peter had a mustache?
Diana: For a month! It was amazing.
Caffrey: I would have broken out of prison to see that.

After Mozzie walks in and find Diana and Neal kissing as part of their cover.
Mozzie: You know I'd say "Get a room" but...

Burke: (to Neal) How is it that you always get the penthouse suite with the girl and I end up with the sweaty, bald-headed guy at a warehouse in Queens?

Burke: Does Mozzie know that the one conspiracy theory that he's falling for is actually true?

After Diana shoots Reggie trying to shoot her.
Diana: Ah, you were worried.
Burke: Not about you. I was worried what you'd do to him.

Burke: What do you think? Hang the "Dogs Playing Poker" on that wall?
Caffrey: That will really bring this room together.

Burke: Yeah, you look good in orange.

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