Quotes from White Collar Episode "Hard Sell"

Season 1, Episode 8 Air Date: January 19, 2010

Burke: All right. You're going to interview with a guy named Brad.
Caffrey: Of course his name is Brad. You think I can keep up with these guys. Peter, I'm flattered!
Burke: Oh, give me a break! You can sell light switches to the Amish.

Caffrey: What do you do for a living, Charlie? I’m a history teacher.
Burke: But I’m not interes—
Caffrey: The only history that’s worth a damn is the history we make today. Do you know who said that.
Burke: I believe Henry Ford said that.
Caffrey: Yes, yes he did. And he was right. Have you heard of Reimer Pharmaceutical? No. Of course you haven't. Cause your job is to teach and my job is to know about companies like Reimer before everyone else. You know when you don't buy a stock? When your cab driver tells you about it. Now if you'd known about IBM before the invention of the microchip, would you have bought in.
Burke: Of course.
Caffrey: Well Reimer is poised for a breakout on the same scale. Monday, the FDA will approve them to begin clinical trials on a quantum-confined nano-technology that has the potential to transform cancer medicines. And I can get you in on the ground floor.

Caffrey: I really don't like that picture. But they do have the greatest cake in town.

Mozzie: If only there were some way to compare this to your life.
Caffrey: I get it, Moz, I'm a pawn. Your analogy lacks creative thinking.
Mozzie: You're upset because it's accurate.

Caffrey: Just because I don't like guns doesn't mean I can't use one.

Caffrey: What do you mean you don't invest over the phone? The Cuban Missile crisis was solved with a phone call.

Cruz: Ya hear that.
Jones: Yeah. It sounds like they are getting suspicious of our inside man.
Cruz: Woman.
Jones: Yeah, woman.

Caffrey: I'm gonna go rummage through your drawers and steal you most precious belongings. I'm kidding. I need to go to the bathroom.

Caffrey: I found the ring. It's Peter.
Mozzie: I'm so sorry man.

Burke: We just want to know who's behind it all.
Caffrey: (Under his breath) So do I...
Burke: What was that?
Caffrey: Nothing.

Burke: I still have a few active aliases.
Caffrey: You are a man of many faces.

Burke: I may not work on Wall Street but that doesn't mean I can't smell a shark in a suit.

Avery: If we do business off the books, we should talk off the clocks.

Caffrey: Just because I don't like guns doesn't mean I don't know how to use one.

Elizabeth: Peter is the best thing that has ever happened to you and you are smart enough to know that.

Caffrey: A cigar tube. Nice! FBI's been watching Thunderball. Breaking out all the toys on this one guys.

Caffrey: So just, just so I'm clear. Um, if anything goes wrong, I suffocate.
Burke: Then we'll make sure nothing goes wrong.
Caffrey: Yeah... Or I can practice holding my breath.

Burke: There's something I need to tell you. I know what the guy wants.
Caffrey: What guy?
Burke: The guy in the picture with Kate. I am going to need you to listen. Kate told me and now I am going to tell you.

Caffrey: Now I find the music box..
Mozzie: And steal it? ( Pause.) Welcome back.

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