Quotes from White Collar Episode "Company Man"

Season 2, Episode 8 Air Date: August 31, 2010

Caffrey: Can I have a quarter?
Burke: Will I get it back?
Caffrey: Depends, if it disappears, can you find it?
Burke: What are you a party clown?

Caffrey: In some alternate universe, you'd be wearing power ties, doing power lunches, flying corporate jets.
Burke: Doubt we'd have ever met.
Caffrey: Maybe. Under different circumstances.
Burke: Well, that's true. You might have robbed the company.
Caffrey: Yep. You could have had a mansion.
Burke: I like my house.
Caffrey: Horses. A stable in the Hamptons.
Burke: I've got a dog.
Caffrey: No regrets, huh?
Burke: No. I've got the bureau. I've got Elizabeth. No. No regrets.

Burke: I look good.

Burke: Neal, if you're working on this, so am I.
Caffrey: I'm not working on anything.
Burke: Which means Mozzie's working on it. I want somebody from my team involved.
Caffrey: Peter, he does not...
Burke: No protests. We are working on this together.
Caffrey: All right, who'd you have in mind?
Burke: Diana.
Caffrey: What? She'll eat him alive.
Burke: Well, he's not much of a meal.

Wesley: Whatever you want we will provide. And Miss Samuels is at your service.
Burke: If you could just show me where to set up.
Wesley: I'm sorry?
Burke: My office. where is it?
Wesley: Peter, this is your office.

Caffrey: We all want the same thing, all right? Now, if we can come together—"together" being the key word—we can move forward.
Mozzie: Look, if I'm gonna spend my time working with lady suit it better be worth it.
Diana: And if I'm gonna spend my time supervising your pocket-sized friend, he better watch what he says.
Mozzie: Why are you even here?
Diana: Because my boss asked me. You?
Mozzie: Uh, because Neal asked me.
Diana: So Neal's your boss?
Mozzie: Hey, I answer to no one Nancy Drew. I already have one fed in my life.
Diana: And I got plenty of crooks in mine.
Caffrey: Hey, hey. We need to find Fowler. We know Kate tried to contact him after Peter showed up at the hangar that day. He's the only one who can tell us what really happened. Please?
Mozzie: Fine. But I have rules.
Diana: You have rules?
Mozzie: You will meet me with all the pertinent files at a time and place of my choosing. I will contact you via express courier. You will receive a package. In that package will be a sonnet giving clue to our rendezvous point.
Diana: You want to send me a sonnet?
Mozzie: Yeah.
Diana: I don't do scavenger hunts... or poems.

Burke: Can you see me?
Elizabeth: I can.
Burke: Look at us being a modern couple.
Elizabeth: Looks like you have everything you need.
Burke: Not everything. Let me show you the best part of the room: you.
Elizabeth: Awe. Well, thanks for bringing me along.

Burke: If I pull the strings, you think you could land the job?
Caffrey: Marketing? I could do marketing.

Caffrey: I had Westen farms conduct a poll on what people found aesthetically pleasing in their cereal bowls. You know what people liked to see?
Andrew: What?
Caffrey: Raisins.
Andrew: Raisins?
Caffrey: Well, a finite amount of raisins. Market research gave us the key formula: a 6:1 flake-to-raisin ratio. I made sure every box we packaged met that standard. Sales went through the roof.
Andrew: Wow.
Trent: That's how you got this job? Breakfast cereal?
Caffrey: Ready-to-eat-cereal market, $10.7 billion last year.
Trent: Right, with the little plastic prizes in the box.
Caffrey: Yeah. That's billion with a "B".

Trent: It's a little tradition we have here. It's called credit card roulette. Go out, run up a nice tab, throw all our company cards on the table, and let the server pick one.
Caffrey: And that card foots the bill.
Andrew: Blows your dinner budget for the month.
Trent: You up for it?
Caffrey: Lock 'n' load, Trent.

Trent: I don't like him.
Jessica: You don't like anyone, Trent.
Trent: I like Andrew.
Andrew: I owe you money, Trent.

Burke: How's the marketing department?
Caffrey: Oh, nice blend of smarmy and suspicious.

Caffrey: Espresso?
Burke: I've always liked espresso.
Caffrey: No more ugly FBI mugs for you. I think you missed your calling: tiny cup big office expensive suits.
Burke: Ugly mugs are fine.
Caffrey: Don't fight your instincts Peter, embrace your true self.
Burke: You done?
Caffrey: I can keep going...
Burke: You're done.

Trent: So, uh, what's up with the hat?
Caffrey: Oh, that's just my humble assault on the commonplace.

Mozzie: I showed you mine. You show me yours.
Diana: Don't ever say that again.
Mozzie: Understood.

June: I hope I'm not interrupting.
Mozzie: Oh, no, not at all. You are but a welcome and striking reprieve from the bureaucratic oppression in my midst.
June: Isn't he charming?
Diana: He has a way with words.
June: Yes, he does. I wanted to speak to you for a moment, please. Peter gave me some forms regarding Neal's housing arrangements and I'm not sure that I understand them.
Diana: Oh, sure.
June: Please.
Mozzie: Well, of course you can't understand them. Bureaucracy has a vested interest in creating the chaos in which they exist.

Caffrey: Hey. Right, let's make this quick. I need to get back to the office.
Mozzie: First week and you're already a corporate shill? My condolences on your recently departed integrity.

Mozzie: Need I go on?
Caffrey: I'm sure you will.
Mozzie: I will.

Caffrey: In the meantime, stay close to Diana.
Mozzie: Why don't I just go have coffee with Hughes while I'm at?
Caffrey: You're a hero, Moz.

Burke: Kent also has a voice-activated security system that unlocks the door to his office. It opens and responds to his voice only.
Caffrey: Well, do we know what the password is?
Burke: Thanks to your friend Jessica, we do: "Faber est suae quisque fortunae."
Caffrey and Burke: "Every man is the artisan of his own fortune."
Burke: Now, I had Jones looking through on-air interviews with Kent, seeing if he can string together some audio clip.
Caffrey: Yeah, well, I doubt he speaks a dead language when he does press.

Jessica: So, have they found anything yet?
Caffrey: Well, agents are going through the latest scans now. We're gonna find something.
Jessica: You know even if you arrest him… it won't change what happened.
Caffrey: I understand.
Jessica: I don't think you do. Do you know how Joseph died, how he was poisoned? This chemical… it drops the heart rate. Spikes the blood pressure. You can't see. And a few minutes later, you can't feel. You're dead.
Caffrey: You can't think about that.
Jessica: It's all I can think about. If someone took away the person you loved, wouldn't you want them to know how it feels?

Caffrey: Embrace your hypothetical self.
Burke: I don't do hypothetical.
Caffrey: Oh, we speculate all the time.
Burke: On our cases, not on my life choice.

Burke: Think she's up to it?
Caffrey: She's certainly driven.
Burke: Yeah, that's what worries me. I'm not sure if she wants revenge or justice.
Caffrey: Can't blame her either way.
Burke: You have empathy for that woman.
Caffrey: What if I do?
Burke: There's a right way to do things and a wrong way. Revenge is the wrong way. It's short-sighted and it's dangerous.
Caffrey: What's justice, then?
Burke: It's restoring order; not furthering chaos.

Caffrey: I'm not the only one who makes dumb decisions.
Burke: Saving Kent?
Caffrey: You're taking this "innocent 'til proven guilty" thing a little too far.
Burke: If he lives or dies, it's not my call.
Caffrey: Whose is it?
Burke: You do what's right. Let the pieces fall where they fall.

Caffrey: Oh, come on. You can't tell me you don't miss it. The imported beans, the giant office, and swanky suite.
Burke: All right, I'm gonna humor you for a second. What if I went corporate right after college? Best-case scenario: I became a millionaire.
Caffrey: Sounds like a pretty good scenario.
Burke: Hmm, one with a flip side. What if I never joined the FBI?
Caffrey: Would have made my life a lot easier.
Burke: Mine too. But what if 12 years ago I was never assigned to an art gallery scam downtown? What if I never met this assistant manager? No, there are more important things in life than a nice view. Like having people in your life you care about. I don't want to imagine the man I'd be without those people. I like the man I am.

Caffrey: I know my options.
Burke: Revenge or justice, right? Neal... as long as I'm involved, it's going to be the latter.
Caffrey: What if justice isn't good enough?
Burke: It has to be. It will be.

Caffrey: No more secrets, Peter.
Burke: No more secrets.

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