Quotes from White Collar Episode "By the Book"

Season 2, Episode 4 Air Date: August 3, 2010

Caffrey: You're wearing an ascot.
Mozzie: You know, the Duke of Windsor consider the ascot elegant morning wear.
Caffrey: Great, if this was 1874 or you were about to open up that Shackleton brandy you intercepted.
Mozzie: I'm not allowed to look debonair?
Caffrey: You on your way to undercut that antiques dealer? Taking your bookie for tea at the Carlisle?
Mozzie: This...what you're doing.. projecting your boredom with your humdrum 9 to 5 existence onto my day where I am free to color outside the lines as I choose.
Caffrey: Don't let me stop you Picasso.

Gina: Mozzie do you really have friends at the FBI?
Mozzie: You know I'm not able to speak to that.
Gina: I'm serious. Do you?
Mozzie: That's a definite maybe.

Mozzie: Oh. My friend is really claustrophobic. He could get violent. (Mozzie turns back to Neal in the elevator.) It's okay.
Caffrey: Don't get near me. Don't get near me.

Mozzie: Do you guys smell that?
Caffrey: Burning insulation?
Mozzie: Oh sometimes these things can just...
Neal does a plunging whistle that explodes.

Caffrey: Can you give me Gina's last name?
Mozzie: Oh, and then some.
(Mozzie hands Neal a file.)
Caffrey: This is a little creepy.
Mozzie: Oh, that's nothing.

Burke: At this rate, I'm going to have to kiss my wife, put her in a cab and grab a hot dog on my way back here.
Diana: Finally.
Burke: Obviously the universe is trying to rob me of my lunch hour.

Caffrey: You guys know we have stairs, right?

Mozzie: Coffee table askew... clothes put back upside down....work of an amateur!
Caffrey: You're right. Someone was looking for something.
Mozzie: Hey! Look at this! I gave this to Gina!
Caffrey: Word play? I hope you used protection.
Mozzie: She likes codes... and she kept it.
Caffrey: To use when she files her restraining order.

Burke: Mozzie has a crush?
Elizabeth: It happens.

Burke: Where's the little guy?
Mozzie: Suit, I must say, your timing is impeccable.
Burke:You two can fill me in from the beginning back at the Bureau.
Mozzie: He wants me to go to the bureau?
Caffrey: Yeah, Moz. If you want the FBI’s help, you gotta go to the bureau. Do it for Gina.
Mozzie: You know what they do to guys like me at the bureau?
Caffrey: I do, Moz! (Gestures toward his anklet) I do.

Caffrey: One foot in front of the other. Come on, Moz.

Caffrey: Rain man, let's go. You're okay.

Burke: What exactly is the nature of your relationship with Gina?
Mozzie: Intellectual, literal...ongoing.
Burke: Is he stalking her?
Caffrey: I'd have to look up the legal definition.

Jones: Boy, you guys have more fun then we do.
Caffrey: Whatever, Travolta.

Caffrey: How many dinners with Elizabeth have you missed because of me?
Burke: I don't keep count. Well, I've lost count.

Navarro: Who the hell are you? Search him.
Mozzie: I work for Tommy. I'm his intermediary. Hands!

Mozzie: I want a chair and I want coffee. No milk; no cream. That's right, lactose.

Burke: What's the perfect exchange?

Burke: Is that why you’re wearing your cat burglar outfit?
Caffrey: I'm a New Yorker. We like black.

Burke: I know this is boring, but stay awake.
Caffrey: I haven't slept since this whole thing started.
Burke: Stomach hurt?
Caffrey: A little bit.
Burke: Got that parched thing happening?
Caffrey: Yeah, my mouth's a little dry.
Burke: Yeah, hold on to that feeling. Remember it the next time you decide to infiltrate the den of a mobster on a whim or something equally cock-eyed.
Caffrey: Thanks for sharing your feelings, Peter. I know it's sometimes difficult for you.
Burke: You're welcome.

Burke: The "perfect exchange," when did you pull it off?
Caffrey: A certain FBI agent came into my life, I didn't get the chance.

Burke: You know what else you're not gonna like? Prison.
Navarro: Oh, I don't plan on going to prison.
Burke: I think your plans just changed.

Caffrey: Moz!
Mozzie and Caffrey: Middle man.
Caffrey: You might want to rename the "perfect exchange".

Burke: How's it feel to walk a mile in my shoes?
Caffrey: I prefer Italian leather. How's Gina?
Mozzie: She's showing signs of a bodyguard complex. I told her some distance between us would be good.
Caffrey: Yeah, a guy like you needs his space.
Mozzie: So, we heading to the Bureau?
Burke: I got the FBI on board with Caffrey, but you, I don't even know your real name. And I've looked...
Caffrey: Thanks for the pen, by the way.
Burke: What pen?
Caffrey: I earned it. It's mine now.



"By the Book" Episode Guide "By the Book" Nitpicks Back to Episode Guide