Quotes from White Collar Episode "Bottlenecked

Season 1, Episode 12 Air Date: February 23, 2010

Mozzie: May you live in interesting times.
Caffrey: You know that's the first of two curses.
Mozzie: What's the other one?
Caffrey: May you find what you're looking for.

Mozzie: Ah, your anonymous chess opponent again. Why aren't you more curious about who's sending this.
Caffrey: I like the mystery.
Mozzie: Your girlfriend's missing. You can't find the one thing that might free her. One would say there's enough mystery in your life.

Burke: Neal.
Caffrey: Peter.
Burke: You're here early.
Caffrey: So are you.
Burke: What you doin'.
Caffrey: Research...

Burke: Heist of the American Museum of Natural History. Not your normal hotbed of crime and intrigue.
Caffrey: Yeah, it's probably nothing.

Burke: Who's pulling the strings and why do I give a damn?

Burke: You met him playing backgammon?
Caffrey: It was simpler times.

Caffrey: They got Al Capone on tax evasion.
Keller: Capone. You flatter me.

Mozzie: It's about Kate. It always was between you and Keller. Like he ever had a chance.
Caffrey: It doesn't matter what it was about, Keller killed a man.
Mozzie: Oh, sure, sure, now you're the noble warrior. Okay, what's the plan?
Caffrey: I'm going to beat him. He gave me the bottle, now we need to fill it, cork it, seal it, and label it. You like scavenger hunts?
Mozzie: I've been known to uncover an Easter egg or two in my time. What's on the list?

Burke: No.
Caffrey: That's your favorite word, isn't it?
Burke: It's a classic. Nope. Never. Forget about it. What makes you think I would break into any place with you and steal anything?
Caffrey: We are not breaking in. You'll be shown around. We're not stealing anything... of value. All I need are some wax shavings. It's like taking a lock of hair from the floor of a barber shop.
Burke: Theft is theft.
Caffrey: I'm a CI not an agent. I don't have the same restrictions. We can call this one a gray area.
Burke: Nada.
Caffrey: Come on. You can get all dressed up, hobnob with pretty people, drink a fine glass of Port.
Burke: From everything you know about me, what makes you think I'd enjoy any of what you just said?
Caffrey: Because this is about catching a killer. A wax shaving for a murderer.
Burke: This won't affect the value of anything in Grace's collection?
Caffrey: Nope, no, nada.
Burke: You know, for the record, I hate Port. It's too syrupy.
Caffrey: There will be other options.

Burke: I still say this tie is ridiculous.
Caffrey: It's Italian it looks good.
Burke: Well, I feel I should be flossing my teeth with it, not wearing it around my neck.
Caffrey: The sooner we get Grace to show us the cellar, the sooner you can get back to your favorite pair of sweatpants. (Peter and Neal)

Burke: The lady asked what I thought. The use of wood is evident in its broadness of flavors. Great persistence in the mouth. It opens up well in the glass.

Keller: Where'd he get off to anyway.
Burke: I don't know. I'm not his keeper.
Keller: You're not huh? Gee, I think you are.

Burke: (after meeting Keller) I spent five minutes with the guy, I want to punch him right in the face.
Caffrey: Imagine how I feel.

Burke: This can't be good.
Hughes: Why does everyone say that when I walk into their office.
Burke: So you have good news.
Hughes: No.

Burke: What if he wins? Or worse, what if you win? This guy will stop at nothing.
Mozzie: That's why we have to stop him. No offense, but your team... hasn't.
Burke: You're right. Keep going. Let's take him down. (Offers Mozzie his pizza) Finish?
Mozzie: Lactose.
Burke: See you in the morning. I'll call Jones and figure out a way to get this bottle into the auction.
Caffrey: Let's go, Haversham.

Burke: I can't believe I'm going to ask you this, but have you see him trespassing.
Caffrey: Yes, at a construction site. It had a no trespassing sign and everything.

Caffrey: The winner of the Franklin bottle. It wouldn't happen to be bidder number fifty seven, would it?
Keller: Why?
Caffrey: Now this is just awkward, but I don't have a million dollars. Luckily, the auction house said they'd give me a week to put the money together.
Keller: A week, huh? Know what, a week's not that long. I can buy that.
Burke: Did you tell him I'm launching a full blown federal investigation on the bottle?
Caffrey: Oh, yeah, there's that too. How long can a federal investigation go on for?
Burke: Not sure. Years.
Caffrey: Oh, years, wow.
Keller: Son of a bitch.
Caffrey: How patient are Sergei and your Russian friends?
Burke: You could take a helicopter ride and find out. Or you can come with us. Your choice.
Keller: Well played.

Caffrey: Sounds like checkmate to me.

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